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Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: (1 Viewing)
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_JJ_TOPIC Comments are welcome! This story can be found at:
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Eitan (Admin)
Admin
Posts: 19
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| Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: 2008/04/06 21:25 |
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The administrator has disabled public write access.
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| Re:Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: 2008/04/07 08:27 |
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I enjoyed the story, but I find myself wondering just why he wasn't supposed to sign the papers for the 1st parcel of land. Perhaps a short paragraph stating why it was a good idea he didn't sign would make the story better.
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artzamy23 (User)
Posts: 1
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| Re:Comments are welcome! This story can be found a 2008/04/29 15:51 |
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I agree with Lisa about the lack of why the first deal was not to have gone through would add more punch to the story. It was heartwarming, however, and I could almost hear the sounds of the farm as well as see the sights mentioned in the descriptive text.
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JoannHoxha (User)
Posts: 17
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| Re:Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: 2008/04/29 15:56 |
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I feel like the ending should have been placed in the first paragraph as the beginning, then slowly threading the story as jolts of memory that she still recalls even with her dementia.
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| Re:Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: 2008/04/29 16:13 |
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I liked the story; I especially like the ending that Stacia is still alive and feels the connection still with her dad.
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mariposaricart (User)
Posts: 13
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| Re:Comments are welcome! This story can be found at: 2008/04/30 10:28 |
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Beautifully written,but a little disjointed. The rationale for the child to have such strong feelings was a little unbelievable
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