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I am a big guy. I have always been big. I have never seen it as being overweight – I am simply a big dude. Other people saw it as being overweight. In fact the two words that were most commonly used to describe me were, “Morbidly obese!”

I am, and always have been comfortable with who I am: Peter the big teacher from Bangor, Maine.

The biggest pain in the neck about being morbidly obese is the doctors. It seemed like they were always getting on me. I remember the jerk of a doctor I saw when I was 16 years old. He told me I would not see my 21^st birthday. I am sitting there – a strapping 16-year old kid and the guy tells me I would not see my 21^st birthday. Heck, I was only 200-pounds. My thoughts at the time were, if I have to die young, I’ll die young. That’s fine with me. It is the quality of a life that matters, not the quantity - I am fine.

Well…that old doctor was wrong. My 21^st birthday came and went, and it seems I am still alive and feeling fine. Well, I have to admit I have not always felt fine. And to be truthful, there have been times when I have been a little rattled and ticked off. I remember how I felt after being told I had to purchase two tickets to attend University of Maine hockey games. They knew me by name, and knew I had been a dedicated fan for over ten years yet they told me I needed to buy two tickets. I guess the two words that described my feelings best were hurt and humiliated. I could not afford two tickets! 

Speaking of being hurt and humiliated: being turned away from the UMaine hockey games does not compare to what I went through at the dentist. I stopped going to the dentist for over six years. Why? Because I could not fit into the chair! I will always remember the hygienist sitting there laughing to herself as I tried to get into the dentist chair. And then the horrible realization hit me that it was not going to happen. The embarrassment of having to turn and leave the office while trying not to look at the beet red face of the dentist. I swore then that I would never go back. And I did not go back for over six years.

First it was the hockey games and then the dentist, but what really began to shake me up, and when I realized something had to change is when I realized how my weight issue was impacting my family. Visits to the hospital were becoming a regular event. Most often these visits were due to Cellulites. The last time I was admitted I had a fever of 104. And they could not cure me – I had too much weight!

I left the hospital that last time with a pretty heavy-duty prescription. I let my brother, who is a doctor in Portland know what I had been prescribed. And he asked my sister what she thought  – she is a research pharmacist in Michigan. Well shortly thereafter I learned that my sister was in labor with her first child and she was on the phone with my brother telling him in a panic that I had been prescribed the wrong medication. It was bad enough that I had missed her wedding due to not being able to afford two tickets for the flight out – but she was in labor with her first child and she was in a hysterical panic. A birth is supposed to be a very special time. And I was ruining it for her. I remember learning this and going into my bathroom and beginning to cry. I knew then things had to change.

I visited my doctor to ask what could be done. He told me my only option was a gastric by-pass. He said things were almost to the point where it was mandatory. He asked me to discuss it with my family and also meet with a dietician. I decided to visit with the dietician first. My relationship with my siblings, as you can imagine had become strained. 

My first thoughts upon meeting the dietician were, can’t she veil her thoughts a little better? She is supposed to be a professional. But in hindsight, she was not the first professional to think I was going to die – soon! I guess she had never seen a 780-pound man before? 

Twenty two hundred calories a day! This is the experimental diet she suggested as a last ditch attempt to avoid surgery. Twenty two hundred calories! I usually consumed more than that in one meal! Heck I thought - I will give it a try. I will be able to say I tried. I was not going to tell anyone though. I was taking enough grief, and did not want anyone looking at me and saying, he couldn’t stay the course.

In only one week I lost fifteen pounds! I did not think this was possible!

I knew then I was never going to look back. Fifteen pounds in a week! I began to research and take charge of my diet. I knew I had to begin exercising. The weight began to come off and I knew I was on the road to recovery! I am doing this I thought, and I am not going to look back - ever!

There was a ringing in my ears as I kept looking at the reading on the over-sized scale. I stepped off a couple of times and gingerly stepped back on – the reading remained the same. I had lost seventy-five pounds in six months!

I knew that was only the beginning and it was, in the six and a half years since that time 425 more pounds have come off. The over-sized scale has been given away.

My weight issue was impacting my family more than I knew. I always wondered why my younger sister in New York would never speak with me. She recently confessed she did not want to get too close to me because she thought it would be too painful when I died. We speak now every Sunday.

The first glance out my glanced frosted-up window tells me everything I need to know – it is cold! Six degrees! Yes, this is cold by anyone’s standard. I am going to need my over-sized mitts and my ski mask this morning. But it is March already – soon I will be making these pre-dawn six-mile walks in shorts and a sweatshirt.  These walks are important. Even though my weight has been stable for a year and a half there is much to do in the way of cardiovascular health and muscle tone. When you lose 500-pounds it leaves some holes and wrinkles – take it from me – I know.

But, I am going to keep pressing forward. I have lost 500-pounds in the last seven years. My life and the life of my loved ones are better because of my efforts. I am never looking back –ever.

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